Speak so He HEARS & LOVES YOU! No More Disappointed! Learn Feeling Statements | Adrienne Everheart

Speak so He HEARS & LOVES YOU! No More Disappointed!  Learn Feeling Statements  | Adrienne Everheart

(Music) Hey everyone I’m Adrienne Everheart
your feminine energy expert. Today I’m going to teach you how
to really lasso your man’s heart with your emotions. Now, something I teach it’s
called feeling statements and feeling statements to
me are the number one way a man can feel clarity
when he’s with you he can feel like he
really trusts you, that he’s truly getting to know
you and what’s inside your heart. And he won’t feel
manipulated or forced or like you’re trying to
out think him in any way. So often the man
will just realize how good he feels
when he’s around you and he can’t really explain it, but when he is with you he feels
this warmth and this trust. So, today I’m going to teach
you how to do exactly that and the biggest mistake
that my clients make when learning how to use
a feeling statement. (Music) (Music) Clients of mine come to
me and they are so upset because they used a
feeling statement and they didn’t get
showered with love and I asked them, well
what exactly did you say or how was this feeling
statement used? And I hear something like, I felt so angry when you did X or I feel like
you’re ignoring me. And they just put I feel
in front of a thought. This is thinking, this isn’t a feeling statement. If you’re putting I feel
in front of a thought, you’re basically saying I feel
and then here’s my thought. So, sometimes you really
need to be able to say I think to your man. You can say I think to him
about so many things. But when we’re talking about
the feelings in your body we’re going to be sharing with
him emotions that you’re feeling and your truths. So, he can really trust
you and feel grounded and not feel manipulated
in any way. A great example of this is I don’t feel like
you care about me. So, I feel you don’t
care about me and notice that,
that is an action or a little bit
what he’s thinking and instead, I want you to switch
this around to your feelings. And your feelings might
be something like well, what are you
really feeling. This is your chance to
drop down into your body and discover what
you are feeling before you speak and before you use
a feeling statement with a man. You might be feeling
unheard or not listened to and you can say, well
I feel misunderstood or I feel unheard,
I feel abandoned. These are things that you’re
really feeling instead of I feel like you are
abandoning me, I feel like you don’t like me. These are thoughts the
man might be having, these are actions
he may be thinking. This is what he’s thinking. Now, the most deadliest
of all I feel thought loopholes is the I feel to get my way. And this is when you say to a man
how you feel about something in order to get your way. Now this one every single time
he is going to feel manipulated and is angry with you
if you use it at all. There’s nothing wrong with
saying this is what I need. I’m very sure this is what I
need or this is what I want. A lot of those are just
really thoughts or feelings. Now let’s say you
need to do something like put some furniture together and you really need
your man’s help. If you wanted to use the
feeling statement loophole and you want to ask
him for his help you would say I feel then
action, which would be wrong. But I would feel really
good if you helped me with this project. You see how that’s manipulative? Instead say, you know,
I’m feeling what, I feel like I need help. I you know, I feel so happy
when we can do stuff together I don’t want to put
any pressure on you can you help me with my
furniture what do you think? You give the man the freedom and
the option to say yes or no. Now, if he says no and you feel
disappointed because guess what, you didn’t get your way and apply this to
anything ladies, you didn’t get your way this is when you can go back and you can just go back
to what you’re feeling and you can say oh, okay, I accept it. I feel bummed, but
I’ll figure it out. All right, so, your happiness
isn’t dependent upon him. That’s the purpose of I feel. I feel is all about owning
what you feel in your body. He might be tired, he
might be in a mood. There might be a million reasons why he doesn’t want to help
you do something or date you or call you or be with you, but just because you
use the words I feel doesn’t mean you’re going to
put him into action, okay. So, I hope I’ve
helped you clarify how to really use a
feeling statement and express yourself
from your body. Now, you can also use I
feel as like an analogy like I’m feeling so excited, I feel
like I’m on a roller coaster right now. That’s an analogy
about how you feel. Just remember you want to make
feeling statements about you. So, often I ask my clients when they’re going through
a tough time with a man I say well, how does
it feel and they say well, I feel like he’s doing
this because of X, Y and Z and you see how they’re
into what he’s thinking. That is not a feeling statement, that is about that man what do you feel while
he’s doing X, Y and Z? Let’s say he’s ignoring you, he’s not
calling you, he’s not dating you as much. Well, how does it feel? Does it feel good or
does it feel bad? If it feels bad,
you have to then go back to how you’re feeling and do what’s best for you. If it feels good, keep
nurturing the good. One of the best things you can do is
that whenever a man does anything that feels wonderful to you, you share with him
how great it feels. I have a husband who is so
good at scrubbing pots and pans and he really keeps the
kitchen looking good for me especially on my busy days. So, I always make a
point to let him know how great it feels to see
everything so sparkling and clean or how great it feels I feel so happy coming
home to a clean kitchen or I feel so excited seeing everything put away and
I didn’t have to do anything. I feel so honored
to have a husband who cares about how
our kitchen looks. This is really important
things to praise and reinforce the good
that is happening. Now, this last one is also one that I just… every time I
hear about this from a woman I’m like oh my gosh
put on the brakes we got to fix this fast. And that is, I feel
very disappointed. And I feel very disappointed or
letting a man volunteering to a man that he has disappointed you. If you make a man feel shamed, wrong, or that he’s
disappointing you in any way, you’re really going to lose him. You’re going to lose him because
one of the worst things men can do is feel like they’re
letting a woman down. And when they feel like
they’re letting a woman down, they’re actually not
winning as a man. They’re being less than and they may know that that’s not
really true about themselves and so again they feel
this manipulation and this feeling
of being slighted. So, instead of I
feel disappointed unless he ask you are you
disappointed with me? You might well, I’m disappointed
at how this turned out. You know, I’m disappointed
with the way it’s gone sure. You know, and it has,
that’s really how you feel, anything otherwise
would be to lie and you would not be in
your feeling statements. But instead of I
feel disappointed because you did not do an action or because you did
not do it my way, the way that I wanted it or the
action I wanted you to take. Like let’s say he
had plans with you for Tuesday night
and he canceled at five o’clock, he
cancels on you. I feel so disappointed it’s not
going to win you anything. Remember you’re going
to get more with honey if you really want to
practice these tools and you want to practice them while
you’re dating or preparing even for marriage. This is the time to have this
really difficult conversations. So, let’s say he cancels at
five o’clock for the day what do you really feel? If that happened to me
I would have to say, wow, I feel sad that we won’t
be able to get together. I was… I felt really excited, I
was looking forward to the date and that’s it. There’s no guilting,
there’s no shaming, there’s no getting it my way, and there’s no you should
have taken this action. So, ladies in closing I want you
to learn the difference between I feel plus a thought versus I feel and it’s a
feeling in your body. Practice the difference and
practice saying I think versus I feel. Practice your sentences
starting off with I think and I feel so you can
learn the difference and most importantly you find out
what you’re feeling in your body. When you’re really
thinking about something and wanting an action, wanting it your
way, versus I feel this is really what’s going
on inside of me. All right everyone I hope this
video has been really helpful. Please take a moment and
subscribe to my channel. If this video has helped
you, give it thumbs up and share it with
someone you care about. I have a lot of programs
that you can study right at the convenience of
your own home at your computer or your phone. I have of course my best-selling
e-book, 500 Ways to Talk to a Man and I also have a program
called New Man Manifesto, which is my lengthiest program. I go really in depth into feeling
statements and so many more topics. Enjoy more of my videos or head on over to my website and see
what program really appeals to you. Thanks so much for tuning in and I look forward to hearing
from you in the comments bye bye. (Music) (Music) (Music) (Music)

Comments (59)

  1. You couldnt have timed this video any better if you tried 🤣 thank you!

  2. Thank you so much! I’ve seen such a big difference in myself and how I approach men. They also respond very much more interested. Still practicing but this is what I needed with all my other inner practices.

  3. I need a couple of more videos to understand fully !!

  4. Well this video came way too late. Friday I expressed my dissapointment to my man, because he has not been prioritizing vacstiontime with me, and we've missed out on summer…i know I was out of line, but he exploded, said some nasty things and now I have packed his things and waiting for him to pick them up. How do I fix this now?

  5. What can i do if i like someone and i want him to talk to me on facebook messaging but we haven’t really talked yet
    Is adding someone he knows will make him notice me? or will make me pop in his suggestions ?
    Or is it better to add him my self
    Ps : i met him twice before and we shared eyes and a few words

  6. I love that jacket! I think you’ve worn it before and I liked it then! Lol! You look great in it!

  7. Thank you for explaining this so well.
    Yet I do not understated yet fully I guess because; how do you let a man know that an action of him made me feel really hurt? I can say; I feel hurt but then he doesnt know what caused it. Situation; my bf posted a video online that could suggest that he is single and this made me feel really bad, how do I communicate this in a feeling way?

  8. I'm 23 and I'm glad I found this. I have watched many of your vids and see how it makes sense and what i may have been doing wrong in the past.

  9. Expressing feelings is a part of being vulnerable with a man.

  10. Wow, this is what we were taught in college majoring in Early Childhood Education…and modeling the "I feel " statements in the classroom really staved off a lot of fights. It was the one "tool" that helped my students develop positive social behaviors in their interactions with their peers. Thanks for the reminder Adrienne!

  11. I told a guy I felt weird about a last minute invitation, and after him asking for clarification I told him I felt like an afterthought, is that last part accusatory?

  12. Thanks for trying Addrienne, but no I just got more confused. Maybe need more examples. So is disappointment not a feeling then, or just one that's not allowed? And sometimes however you say it, if a man is going to feel guilty, he just will. I do sort of get the idea of dropping down into your body to find what you really feel. Sadly it seems we can only connect with men on the most primitive level.

  13. Oooh girl…gold blazer❣

  14. Hello Adrienne!! I sometimes tell him that he's awesome and he makes me laugh and also "i love (this thing) about you" is that a feeling statement??

  15. Most men run for the hills once they hear the word "feel".

    Use the words "it seems like", which is more based on intuition than emotion.

    Emotions often scare them. So, once again: "it seems like".

  16. Kind of different but I had a good breakup yesterday by using an "I feel" statement. There was no fight and I didn't get over-emotional which are wins in my book. He just wasn't right for me and that's ok 🙂

  17. implementing this requires a lot of personal awareness and intention.

  18. Wow, I loved this video! It is so much to the point in regards to the difference between "feeling" vs "projecting women's expectations" statements to their Men. I just realized that I made the same "disappointment" mistake with a guy I really like(d) but felt played Hot-cold. Watching this video I realized that my biggest challange is to get out of this status to expect from men and rely and focus on me. This was what, at least, I had been taught all this years, that partnership is a cooperation of 2, depending in a good way on each other which leads to having expectations of you Partner. I actually like this independent duality. Looking forward to get your ebooks and I would love to see more Videos like this. Thank You for all your effort and the amazing job you're doing in each of your Videos. 💖

  19. Don't piece it together one video at a time! 👍🏽You are here to learn and grow and my programs do exactly that for you! 👉🏼💌Get "500 Ways to Talk to a Man" + 2-Day Classes:

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  20. Adrienne, how to handle women in their masculine energy: Dominating, controlling, up in their head, talking talking and manipulating? Should I handle them the same way as a man, with feeling-statements and softness? Hope you want say something about my question even though it´s about women to women. Love from Åsa, Sweden

  21. Adrienne, are you from the South?

  22. I love watching your videos Adrienne, you give me hope

  23. Adrienne, I loved your video! I liked your explanation about the fact that saying we are disappointed will not get us anything, will not solve anything, in fact make things worse. I just want to ask you one question I guess I need more clarity. If a man were to cancel a date just a few hours before meeting time, I think I would not just feel sad, I would feel angry and even start to make some inferences about his character; thinking "he is probably not a successful man, no successful person would handle a communication with such childish last minute , or I would maybe say "he is careless and not trustworthy".
    My questions is: Do you then suggest I or any women should not feel these emotions and refrain from making these inferences all together and change or control the emotions we let our hearts feel and inferences or accusations we let our minds make OR do we make them and feel them and just make them obvious and handle the situation the way you advised, by saying "I am feeling sad"
    So my questions is about what we feel and not what we tell the guys.

  24. Super informative! Thanks for sharing!

  25. Your jacket is POPPING 🤩

  26. So take out the word like and own the feeling. I felt like you abandoned me becomes I felt abandoned.

  27. Great info thanks 😀

  28. How about: I feel lost and alone (when I don't hear from you or see you) ???

  29. I messed up by making my man feel like he was disappointing me by not staying over. He broke up with me. He is super sensitive to this stuff. One dissaponting thing and he runs for the hills. His insecurity is high. He doesn't believe he is capable. He has daddy issues because he never felt good enough for his dad. I believe in everything that you teach. You say the man steers the relationship. I think I keep picking the wrong men.

  30. Is there a feminine way to initiate? I’m interested in a guy I used to work with but neither of us were available at the time. Now we are both single… I have his number but don’t see him in person anymore… how can I approach him in a feminine way?

  31. Im sorry, but your examples are also not feelings. You are saying exactly the same as I feel like. You cant feel abandoned, impossible. That is also I feel an action. You feel sad when you think you are abandoned. The way to bring the guy to connect to you without manipulating him with your judgement would be: observation, true feelings, what you need. Here is an example: I have noticed that you are not spending as much tine with me as before and Im feeling lonely and sad. I am needing connection, love and appreciation…
    Please, I would recommend that you read Non Violent Communication (by Marshall Rosenberg) before prescribing people how to express feelings

  32. Thank you🙏… could you give me advice about how to react. I am just dating a man 2 yrs younger. I have the feeling he really likes me..but…when we are together and some beautiful girl passes by.. his attention is gone and he has to whatch. The worst part is i am 2 yrs older ( we both 40 plus) and the girls are mostly less than 25/ 30 to me.. it disturbes me so much…😔…how can i express this without sounding stupid or blaming ??…thank you

  33. I love your outfit! Thank you for this video, very helpful 🙂

  34. The most helpful video you’ve ever posted so far! Now I finally understand feeling statements!

  35. omg that blazer is 100% boss!

  36. Hey just a wondering question!
    Have you and Alaina and some of the other coaches ever thought about an (in person) Seminar

  37. if we had a date and on the day of the date he did not reach out can you say I felt disrespected? this has happened a couple times before and Im hurt and tired of it

  38. Sometimes…
    I throw a shoe at my husband or whatever is near by and suddenly he becomes a mind reader & is energized to do everything I’m thinking/feeling 🤔

    Don’t know if that qualifies but yeah 🤷🏾‍♀️

  39. So if you shame a man does that mean you lost him for good? I literally told a guy he disappointed me so is it game over?

  40. Hi , I love ur work I wanted to know my guy says he’s gonna text me when he is free and he’s texts me after 10 hours at night and when I text him back after couple of messages he says u know it’s pretty late I’ve work tomorrow and he goes to sleep how should I react to this ?

  41. Sometimes I do use my feeliNg statements and say I him I’m feeling ignored things use to be much better before , and he says to me yes what can I do I’m so busy these days and I’m sorry u feel that way he said this to me and I can see him online for hours he has time for everything not for me how should I act what should I respond?

  42. I think this is one of your best

  43. Thank you for sharing, this is truly valuable to me!

  44. See my issue is I know or at least feel he doesn’t trust me or feel warmth from me. He isn’t “my man”, we are separated and have been for 17months now. He’s the father of my 3 children. I trigger anxiety and all sorts of feelings in him. Well maybe more thoughts as I’m not sure he is connected to feelings. I’ve no idea what to do other than to let go completely which Ive been working on, as I know it’s the right way to go, for whatever the outcome. I’ve just found it so hard. It’s so far away from where I’d like my life to be.

  45. Hey Adrienne ! I’m new to your channel and I’ve watched a few of your videos ! I am in a relationship but I’ve noticed a changed and asked myself how do I get my man to chase me again and I found you ! Just scrolling on my YouTube ! Anyways I’ve been practicing being in my feelings and expressing that. And I have a story ! It went totally left ! I was using an “I feel” statement to try and get my man to help me with some housework. And I said “babe it would help me feel less stressed if you helped me with the dishes . & he said “what needs done?” & Did I word it the right way or do you think I could use more practice 😂.

  46. Adrienne Everheart do you mean i feel cannot be used to criticize a man's behaviour

  47. Adrienne- Just wanted to say "THANK YOU" for being my to-go-to gal, as I try to reinvent my dating life. Blessings

  48. Works with kids too. 😁

  49. It seems like thinking statements tend to be used like verbs since its about somebody doing something and the feeling statements are descriptional so they seem to use more adjectives?

  50. Is that jacket leather and satin or silk? IT looks so fab

  51. Since I am using the feeling statements my man told me he is also feeling he can open himself more and talk with me (communication)so since then we have long talks…I am also listening 100% what he needs to say without interrupting, receiving his words. It feels like a trusting environment. Thanks Adrianne! You are a goddess🙏🔝

  52. That would not even be proper English! I remember you said that feeling statements are about letting the man know how we are feeling inside in the moment. You said we shouldn’t use that with a specific goal.

  53. We have to be mindful 😊

  54. In the past I catched myself using feeling statements to make something happen which is manipulating. Women who do similar things really need to watch this.

  55. I feel like I’m walking on eggshells, UGH!

  56. I stopped dating a few years ago in my late 20s because I found women to be to masculine and that if I was going to go out every day and work I didn't want to come home to masculine energy it was easier and safer to just "rub one out" lol and chill with the boys at least with men we know the rules and ware the goal posts are. This lady has alot of good advice but sometimes I feel society is past a point of no return

  57. Honey 🍯 that’ll be my new mantra ☺️ I get so caught up in the heavy feelings, I didn’t realize I push him away when I do that. Moreover, I walk away from my own happiness. 🙂 thank you!

  58. This is truly helpful…I am so going to use it

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