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SCP-100-J A Steaming Pile of Shit | Keter class | Joke / Biohazard / organic scp

SCP-100-J A Steaming Pile of Shit | Keter class | Joke / Biohazard / organic scp


SCP-100-J “A Steaming Pile of sh**” object class: Keter Item #: SCP-100-J Object Class: Keter Special Containment Procedures: SCP-100-J
is kept in a 20-by-20-meter containment structure on the bottom floor of Site-19. The structure is to be lined with plasticrete,
backed up by 4 meters of steel. Attempts to encase the SCP in telekill have
met with absolutely zero success. SCP-100-J is to be kept in a plastic bucket
in the middle of the containment structure. There is to be around-the-clock surveillance
of SCP-100-J. Security on SCP-100-J is minimal at most times, needing only one guard on a
rotating schedule. However, whenever a new operative joins the
staff at Site-19, a security detail of at least 20 fully-trained security operatives,
as well as ten agents, are to be on duty outside the containment structure for 72 hours; after
72 hours, if no new SCP has been spawned, normal security practices are to be reinstated. Should a non-sentient SCP emerge from SCP-100-J,
a team of researchers is to be dispatched into the containment structure, to determine
the properties of the new SCP, and to determine how best to decommission it. Should a sentient SCP emerge from SCP-100-J,
Site-19 is to go on full alert, and all manpower brought to bear on containment structure. Agents Clef, Kondraki, Gears, and [REDACTED]
are to be immediately informed, so they can begin forming decommission strategies. Should an SCP from SCP-100-J make it past
the bottom ten floors of Site-19, the onsite nuclear weapon is to be detonated. Description: SCP-100-J appears to be a 42
cm by 32 cm mound of equine feces. The SCP maintains a constant moistness, as
well as an inner temperature of 38.3 degrees Celsius. Whenever a new operative joins Site-19, there
is a 75% chance that a new SCP will be spawned from SCP-100-J. There is a 50% chance of the
new SCP being sentient. Non-sentient SCPs come in a variety of categories. Many are weapons, all of which bestow extraordinary
abilities upon the user. The majority of such weapons are swords, with
a small minority being rather awkwardly-modified firearms. Additional non-sentient SCPs tend to be items
that either work better than they should, or work in direct opposition to the way they
should. Sentient SCPs come in two main categories. The majority of humanoid SCPs appear as idealized
versions of the new operative, physically attractive, with a multitude of abilities,
and tend to make people feel comfortable in their presence. Non-humanoid SCPs are usually some form of
enhanced normal creature, but with bizarre coloring. Addendum: List of SCPs created from SCP-100-J: SCP-███-D ‘Little Addie’: SCP appeared
to be Adolf Hitler, at six years old. SCP was terminated without any alterations
to the timestream. SCP-048-D ‘Joey’: SCP was a dog with a human
face, friendly except when taunted. SCP was put to sleep without any negative
effects. SCP-083-D ‘Duke’: SCP appeared to be a polite
and well-mannered vampire. SCP was terminated by Agent Kondraki after
near-destruction of Site-19. SCP-886-D ‘Vibrations’: SCP appeared to be
skin-tight suit that interacted directly with a subject’s nervous system, granting them
incredible powers. SCP was burned with no adverse side effects. SCP-966-D ‘Reverse Air Purifier’: SCP acted
as an air purifier, but in reverse. SCP was smelted, and resulting scrap used
to line the floor in SCP-173’s room. SCP-108-D ‘The Man O’War’: Human male resembling
Agent James ██████, proved to be unstoppable when in possession of any weapon. Subject was given SCP-572, and self-decapitated. SCP-685-D ‘Bag of Holding’: SCP appeared to
be a normal satchel, capable of holding an unlimited quantity of items. SCP was turned inside out and vanished. SCP-122-D ‘Large Canine’: SCP was a large
winged dog. SCP was put to sleep with no complications. SCP-096-D ‘Too Good Air Conditioner’: An air
conditioner that reduced room temperature to 0 degrees. SCP was smelted down, and the scrap was not
used. SCP-547-D ‘Nature’s Fury’: SCP was a teenage
male identical in appearance to Dr. Timothy ████████████, but
wielding unbelievable power. SCP was terminated by accident. SCP-072-D ‘A Spell Book’: SCP was a thick
book which claimed to contain ‘magic spells.’ SCP was burned with no complications. SCP-226-D ‘Chrono Komodo ‘: A sentient statue
of a komodo dragon that possessed time-controlling abilities. SCP was terminated by accident by Dr. “Iceberg”
and Prof. Kain Pathos Crow. SCP-153-D ‘The Impaler’s Thumb’: SCP was a
mummified thumb that turned its holder into a patriotic xenophobic racist. SCP was accidentally incinerated by Dr. Kondraki. SCP-1016-D ‘Ben the Cyborg’: A self-described
“computer genius” whose body parts were largely replaced by computer hardware. Decommissioned by Dr. Gears. SCP-106-D ‘Exploding Woman’: SCP was a woman
who, by inserting her finger inside a human’s navel and touching one of their organs, would
explode, regenerating 20 days later. SCP was destroyed by subjecting it to the
simultaneous presence of SCP-048-D and SCP-053. SCP-151-D ‘K’: SCP was a creature that resembled
an albino human child with a furry tail. Possessed psychokinetic abilities, and a strong
hate for personnel convicted of violent crime towards women and/or children. SCP was decommissioned by exposure to SCP-056. SCP-806-D: SCP was a white rubber mask that
“metaphored” people’s heads until they died. Was destroyed by unified staff effort within
26 hours of its emergence. SCP-███-D: The re-animated corpse of
former United States president James Garfield. Captured and incinerated. SCP-████-D: An evil goblin jester
that likes to murder people. Fed to SCP-682. SCP-████-D: Eight billion humans that
gain psychic powers when their brains are not exposed to radiation. All instances were allowed to be terminated
by SCP-076-2 as a reward for good behavior.

Comments (65)

  1. Hey can you do one on 055?

  2. Omg that's totally me !

  3. I wondered where all the rejected SCP entries ended up.

  4. I'm at work and just finished with some lugging and tugging. It was great taking a break with your video. It was a bit of a bummer when they put down the dog with wings. I would kill for a dog with wings!

  5. What a shitty scp….

    😉

  6. An SCP to kill 682

  7. And I thought Vaal Hazak was this smelly.

  8. this was a… shitty SCP

    huehuehuehue

  9. a steaming pile of
    DEMONITIZATION

  10. Not sure if SCP-100-J, or giant Triceratops mound from Jurassic Park…

  11. So basically scp lootboxes

  12. Wait when did 4chan become an scp.

  13. This is what my life has become

  14. Steve, where did you find this picture of my ex?

  15. Been to long since you've done one of these. 😀

  16. Talk about pulling crap duty 😆

  17. All these scp 100 J spawn are really cool why terminate them all

  18. Oh my god, I absolutely love this -J that I've not heard of until now. God, all of the horeshit references bring me life. Thanks for bringing it to my attention!

  19. Scp staff: "Sir we found the tardis, the fucking tardis! Where should we contain it?"
    Kondraki: "Fucking burn it, we don't need it"

  20. Talk about catching the shit end of the stick.

  21. hehehe he said doody.

  22. Lol! good one 🙂

  23. kondraki is dead thank Ra

  24. Since i can't write an scp now, i'll make my own

    SCP-19489-j

    Object class: safe
    Special containment procedures: SCP-19489-J is to be stored in a large humanoid standart containment chamber in Site-[Redacted] decorated to be a large luxury hotel suite with two beds. SCP-19489-J instances are allowed to leave containment at any time to eat meals at the cafeteria. all personel is allowed to visit and play with SCP-19489-J at any time except during the night. Rooms must be cleaned every two days by the janitor staff. in the event a containment breach should happen, local law enforcement of nearby towns should be notified and the recontainment should be done with agents dressed with [Redacted] State Patrol uniforms.

    Description: SCP-19489-J are two humanoid creatures who are very similar in size and appearence to human teenage girls with the only exceptions of a cat tail and cat ears.
    The pair behave like cats and are very playful but will do a non-lethal attack to slitghtly injure a subject when it is being provoked or suprised.
    The pair identifies themselves as Snowball and Chococake, names matching their fur colors.
    Snowball wears a white and pale-blue dress and is usualy docile, well behaved and very calm. Altough the clear lack of emotions, she loves to play and stay with Chococake. Snowball has been classified as SCP-19489-1-J but personel are advised to refer to her with her name.

    Chococake, SCP-19489-2-J, on the other hand is an energetic and very active specimen, she has dark brown fur and wears a crimson red, white and black dress similar to Snowball's.
    Unlike Snowball, she is rarely calm and serious and loves to play with anyone. she is to be monitored when playing with personel as she is rarely careful and would go with anyone.

    Sidenote:
    "i just want to point out that both of them feel safer arround Dr. Bright than any other personel, Dr. Bright seems to be calmer and shows genuine interest of doing genuine research on the pair, i believe we can allow him to visit them"
    -Dr.[redacted]

    Discovery: SCP-19489-J has been discovered on December 3rd, 2008 while they were still arround 6 years old, by an unidentified man and his young sister who brought them to the local police departement. The police departement then notified the foundation, giving the pair warm clothes and feeding them with canned tuna and hot cocoap until agents arrived, class A amnestics have been administered to the brother and sister. as the two young specimens as they were insanely scared of the foundation personel, it took two years before they accepted being interviewed.

    Interview log SCP-19489-J-1-1
    Interviewer: Dr. [redacted]
    Date: [Redacted], 2010

    Dr. [Redacted]: "good morning, what is your real name, 19489-1? Snowball: "why are you calling us with numbers?"
    Dr. [redacted]: "We classify everything we secure with numbers, we didn't know your names"
    Snowball: "my name is Snowball, and where's chococake?"
    Dr. [Redacted]: "Chococake? "
    Snowball: "Where is my sister? she was with me when we fell asleep in the giant fridge you dare call "our room" and she wasn't there this morning!"
    Dr. [Redacted]: "oh! her. she's being interviewed in a seperate room at the moment"
    Snowball: "i don't believe you people, we never trusted you from the time you found us."
    Snowball starts crying
    Snowball: "you better not have killed her, we defended eachother from you people since we got here"
    Dr. [Redacted]: "we were trying to do research on you"
    Snowball: "that's why i don't believe you, you won't get any answers, even if you [redacted] me."
    Dr. [Redactdd]: "anyways, where do you come from?"
    Snowball: "go away from me!"
    Snowball then proceeds to get up and scratching Dr. [redacted] with her claws, also hitting the security agent at the door in the process before being stoped by Dr. Bright who managed to restrain her and confort her after a few minutes. Subject placed back into containment by Dr. Bright. Dr. [Redacted] has recovered days later tough lost a large ammount of blood from bleeding
    -End of log

    Interview log SCP-19489-J-2-1
    Interviewer: Dr. [redacted]
    Date: [redacted], 2010

    Dr.[Redacted]: "bring her in, i'm ready"
    Dr. bright enters the room carrying Chococake, who was still asleep, setting her down on the chair and waking her up
    Chococake: "Wh- where am i, ma'am? has chococake done something b-bad?"
    Dr. [Redacted]: "no, i just want to ask you a couple questions"
    Chococake: "then why this intimidating room? and what's with those two men over there?"
    Chococake proceeds to point at the security guards at the door
    Sargeant [Redacted]: "who, us?"
    Chococake: "yes,'you sirs, you people terrify me"
    Sargeant [redacted]: "sorry, but we can't leave this room we don't know what you're capable of yet"
    Chococake nods nervously
    Chococake: "i-i understand.."
    Dr. [Redacted]: "ok let's begi-"
    Chococake cuts Dr. [redacted] mid sentence
    Chococake: "Wait where's my sister? i want to see Snowball!"
    Chococake starts tearing up
    Dr. [Redacted]: "who?"
    Chococake: "My sister!"
    Dr. Bright proceeds to show her a picture of Snowball taken while they were asleep
    Dr. Bright: "her?"
    Chococake: "yes, her! wait. when did you take that picture you pervert!?"
    Dr. [Redacted]: "what's wrong with you, Bright?"
    Dr: Bright: "they refused to let us take pictures of them, so i did last night"
    Chococake: "i knew it! you're a pervert and a lolicon!"
    Dr. Bright gets unconfortable and leaves the room
    Dr. Bright: "i had no choice i'm sorry"
    Chococake starts crying
    Chococake: "where's my sister!? did that pervert take her!?"
    Dr. [redacted]: "she's being interviewed in a nearby room"
    Chococake: "i don't believe you, you won't have a single answer out of me"
    Dr. [redacted]: "where do you come from?"
    Chococake: "screw all of you!"
    chococake cries louder and isn't responding
    A scream can be heard from the neighboring interview room, everyone looks in the direction of the hallway
    Chococake proceeds to attack the security guard with her claws, hitting him in the legs, Security guard went back on his feet to chase her to find her in shock being conforted by Dr. Bright and seeing her sister safe, Dr. Bright then personaly placed them both back into containment and asked for better care for them.
    -end of log

    Interview Log SCP-19489-J-2-2 and SCP-19489-1-2
    Interviewer: Dr. Bright
    Date: [Redacted], 2011.
    Dr. Bright: "hey, choco, Snow, how are you this morning?"
    Chococake: "Good, thanks, everything has been going better since you asked your bosses to get us a proper room"
    Snowball: "I am doing fine as well"
    Dr. Bright: "how's the room?"
    Chococake: "Amazing, we're about to try and get along with more people in the next few days!"
    Snowball: "it is all thanks you, sir, we will always be grateful"
    Dr. Bright: "need anything in your room?"
    Chococake: "could we have human size cat toys? we're half-cat after all"
    Snowball: "i was about to ask the same. also could we have more clothes and internet access?"
    Dr. Bright: "yeah, i'll ask the rest of site command if it's possible, now let's start"
    Dr. Bright proceeds to poor everyone a cup of black tea
    Chococake: "Thank you"
    Snowball: "Thank you"
    Dr. Bright: "so, where do you two come from?"
    Chococake: "we don't know, but we know we were born in a laboratory togheter, so we always tought ourselves as sisters"
    Snowball: "it has been like that a long time, they were trying to kill us so we escaped during winter, we barely had clothes and used paper bags and hung arround barrel fires in alleyways for a while"
    Dr. Bright: "you guys are lucky some people had mercy and found you both, i don't believe you two would be here if you weren't found. Next question, are there more specimens like you? if there are, are there any males?"
    Snowball: "actualy, there were 7 of us, we got seperated when the lab was attacked and we were about to be disposed, i do remember seeing them far from us when we escaped but we lost them in the snowstorm"
    Chococake: "i wonder what they are up to now if they survived, i believe they did, i saw some people with fire weapons killing the people chasing them, maybe these people rescued them"
    Snowball: "also, neither of us were males, only females"
    Dr. Bright: "huh. interesting, anything happened while roaming the streets?"
    Snowball: No, but some people in the alleys tried grabing us, but every time we managed to fend them off our parts, one time i found chococake bei-"
    Chococake sets her tea down quickly and starts crying
    Chococake:"PLEASE don't remind me of that time, i don't want to remember it. it was awfull i tought i was going to die!"
    Dr. Bright: "i think that's enough for now, thanks for your time, girls, i'll see you girls later"

    end of log

    Incident 1:
    On November to December 2016, both Chococake and Snowball have shown major interest in American politics, using Dr. Bright's computer to do massive research, they became very aligned with Conservative ideas and thus supported now american president Donald Trump.
    Dr. Bright, Chococake and Snowball all three celebrated Donald J. Trump's victory, all three were found passed out drunk in the staff break room

    Sidenote: "Now half of the entire site hates em''
    -Dr. Bright

    Incident 2: On the morning of January 2nd, 2018, the containment chamber of SCP-19489-j has been found empty, after a few minutes, Dr. Bright arrived at the front gates carying both Snowball and Chococake.

  25. Steaming pile of L I F E

  26. Viva La Vida by Maroon

  27. sounds like an actual parody of SCP, a pile of shitty ideas ( mostly ( lets be honest 90% are crap and the other 10% are decent ))

  28. A steaming pile of REDACTED

  29. my stupid watch that when you set the alarm it would make you sleep to the exact moment of the alarm beeping was so bad it wasn't even on here.

    lol

  30. Don't do joke SCPS. No one likes them it just ruins the lore

  31. 6:39 those bastards killed a cat boy…

  32. SCP 666-J is hilarious

  33. And this is where all the bad SCPs come from!

  34. It's the Great Mighty Poo!

  35. “Well, 76-2, as a reward for good behavior, here’s 8 billion human beings! You know what to do! Have fun!”

  36. I lost it when 682 was used to terminate the goblin

  37. Fucking hilarious loved it

  38. Love these joke ones.

  39. Oh look my birthplace

  40. scp 173 >:CC IS THIS WHY YO BUTT IS BROWN?!?!?!

  41. Fucking scathing mate

  42. Able was a good boy

  43. 1:38 Don't you mean Chowder Clef?

  44. I love how its a keter class

  45. This is so meta and savage, wtf.

  46. A steamy pile of shit

  47. A mmmmmmmmmmm plop

  48. And that’s how the everything store started

  49. "That is one big pile of [REDACTED]"
    -Dr. Gibson

  50. AVGN would LOVE this SCP.

  51. Why would they destroy some of that cool stuff?

  52. Somehow… Rewarding the hypnotically induced ancient serial killer with murder seems a bit counterproductive to me

  53. Holly shit literally

  54. This is a steaming pile of sabakawusinobe (its means dog puled out of ass)

  55. Don’t know about many of the SCPs were any of them based on existing characters? I swear some sounded familiar

  56. I bet SCP-682 took a dump and made this SCP while in giant form.

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