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How to Stop Feeling Nostalgic for an Ex

How to Stop Feeling Nostalgic for an Ex


After considerable agony, we’ve left a relationship.
We’re on our own now – and, when we can bear to be honest, it’s a little harder
than we expected. We aren’t going on many dates; the central heating broke down last
week; the shopping is proving a hurdle. In idle moments, we find ourselves daydreaming,
returning fondly to certain occasions in the concluded relationship. There was that wintry
weekend by the sea: they looked adorable walking on the beach in their thick scarf. We fed
the seagulls and drank cheap white wine from paper cups on the seafront and felt connected
and happy. We’re newly conscious of the charm
of so many things that seemed ordinary at the time – coming out of the supermarket,
putting everything away in the fridge and the cupboards; making soup and toasted cheese
and watching television on the sofa. With these thoughts in our minds, we feel
weepy and tender – and at points distinctly tempted to call the ex up again. They would,
we suspect, allow us back, or at least give us a hearing.
What can we make of our feelings? It might be that we have realised a genuine mistake.
But it’s even more likely that we are in the grip of a characteristic mental habit
of the newly single, facing the vertigo of independence: nostalgia.
In the middle of the nineteenth century, Britain underwent industrial and scientific revolutions
that transformed old settled ways of life, ripping apart communities, throwing people
together in large and anonymous cities – and dislocating the loyalties and certainties
once offered by religion. In a search for ways to soften the confusion, artists and
thinkers began to imagine what a better world might look like – and in certain circles,
the search turned towards the past and more specifically, to the perceived wisdom, coherence
and contentment of the Middle Ages. While railway lines were being laid down across
the land, and telegraph cables under the seas, members of the artistic class celebrated the
simple, innocent communities that they proposed had existed in the twelfth and thirteenth
centuries. Art works depicted handsome uneducated but happy labourers, cheerful villagers celebrating
harvests and kindly lords and ladies ministering to the deserving poor. There seemed to be
no violence, alienation, fear or cruelty. No one minded not having much heating or subsisting
on a meagre diet of oats and the odd piece of lard. It had, it was alleged, been very
much easier back then, in the thatched cottages and pious stone churches. When it was all so much better… Frank Dicksee,
La Belle Dame sans Merci, 1901 At the heart of the nostalgic attitude is
a disregard for why things ever changed – and might have needed to do so. For the nostalgic,
the past never required alteration or development; history moved on for no sane reason. The complexities
of the present moment are in this sense deemed wholly accidental. They are not the tricky
byproducts of a legitimate search for growth and progress away from what must have been
at some level, despite the odd delightful occasion (perhaps at harvest time or on a
midsummer morning), an intolerable previous arrangement. The nostalgic can’t accept
that the present, whatever its faults, came about because of inescapable difficulties
with the past. They insist that we had already once been perfectly happy, then mysteriously
changed everything for the worse because we forgot we had been so.
Relationships can find us reasoning no less selectively. Here too it can feel as if we
must once have been content and then grew ungrateful through error and inattention.
Yet in locating profound satisfaction in the past, we are crediting our earlier selves
with too little acumen. The truth about what a relationship is like is best ascertained
not when we are feeling low six months or a few years after its conclusion, but from
what we must have known when we were in its midst; when we were most familiar with all
the facts upon which we made our slow and deliberate decision to leave.
The specific grounds for our dissatisfactions tend to evaporate. We edit out the rows, the
botched trips, the sexual frustrations, the stubborn standoffs… The mind is a squeamish
organ. It doesn’t like to entertain bad news unless there is a highly present danger
to be attended to. But knowing our amnesiac tendencies, we can be certain that profound
unpleasantness must have existed, for there would otherwise have been no explanation for
our decision to rip our situation apart. We would never have needed to act if things had
ever remotely been as gratifying as we are now nostalgically assuming they were. The
portrait we are painting of the relationship is emerging not from knowledge, but from loneliness
and apprehension. Furthermore, our sense of ourselves as people
who could be satisfied with what was on offer is as untrue to our own nature as is the fantasy
of a modern urban dweller who dreams they might find enduring happiness in a medieval
wooden hut. The solution to the problem of satisfying our needs is not to hallucinate
that they don’t exist. It is to square up to them and use every ingenuity we’re capable
of to devise workable solutions for them. We should trust not what we feel now, in our
weepy disconsolate state, but what we must have known then. A simple rule of thumb emerges:
we must invariably trust the decisions we took when we had the maximal information to
hand upon which we made them – not when we have emotional incentives to change our
minds and mould ourselves into a caricature of an easily-gratified creature. There were
persuasive reasons, even if – in our sadness – we now can’t remember a single one.
Returning to the past wouldn’t make us content, it would merely – at great cost to all involved
– remind us of why change was in the end so necessary.
We need to accept that good things did exist, but that they were no proper solution to certain
of our well-founded emergent needs. It means accepting that we are as complicated and as
difficult to satisfy as we are – and that the way forward is to accept our characters
rather than assume a simplicity we could never live up to. We should have the courage of,
and be ready to pay the full price for, our true complex natures. Love is a skill that we can learn. Our relationships book calmly guides us with calm and charm through the key issues of relationships to ensure that success in love need not be a matter of good luck. For more click the link now.

Comments (100)

  1. Have you struggled with getting over an ex and come through the other side? What helped you cope? Let us know in the comments below and be sure to turn on notifications to ensure you don't miss our next film.

  2. What an ugly graphic

  3. The craziest thing is that I’ve always felt we never part ways on bad terms. We constantly told each other we cared deeply for each other, and that we hoped for the best for each other, then one day recently (around a month after the breakup), he blocked me on social media and deleted all our photos. I guess things weren’t as “good” as I thought they were.

  4. i can guess most people watching this is born in june

  5. I've struggled to get over a recent ex (one of whom I share a child with) and what helped me was knowing that this person doesn't share the same values as me, nor are they interested in growing. They became complacent with the relationship. They were lethargic when it came to doing things. They often were not self-motivated unless they benefited from something directly.

    Even after breaking up, I spent all of 2019 trying to do good by them, only to realize at the very end of the year, I was wasting time, money, effort, love, and resources on someone who didn't even bother to ask how I was doing and seemed very ungrateful with the things I did. Imagine a partner that you had to remind to do basic things like say "please" or "thank you". Imagine a partner who was dismissive of your feelings when you tried to be vulnerable. Imagine a partner who couldn't show affection, and didn't react when receiving it. It took a year for me to realize how futile everything was. And to be honest, they are going to miss out. I wasn't a perfect person myself, but I knew that I could always improve, and I did.

  6. What about if they leave you?

  7. Is this what you call….managing your EQ with a higher dose of IQ?

  8. I have another issue to talk about since the channel reads my mind…Thank you for this video btw it, again, came at a great time…

    "What if you have toxic parents?" Is a good topic for next video
    I'm self efficient but my Dad is depressed and doesn't have the guidance to move on and grow. He won't realize the mindset he is in is destroying his life…Do you help? Or just let it be?

  9. Don’t feel bad guys at least you don’t have to live in the same apt as her

  10. Não adianta, não há vídeo nesse mundo que me faça esquecer a morena.

  11. i felt like these after my three year relationship ended but eventually i overcame

  12. 2 years and it's gone just like that.. 😔

  13. Hello, video. Where have you been for the last 3,5 years of my life?

  14. WTF I was just feeling this?

  15. Thank you a lot for this video.

  16. Thank u🙏🏼 this is fantastic. Also y’all don’t waste your time with someone who don’t want u💕

  17. This right on time

  18. I always give people the example of a soulmate. You create your soulmate. You don’t just up and find them. You find someone and over time they become what you make them in your mind. But the reality is that had you not gone on that first date or bumped into that specific person and your paths never crossed that the next person you ended up with may have become your purported soulmate. It’s like when people say they can’t imagine life without that person, especially their children. Well, I can. Use that same rationale and you could argue that the new soulmate in this alternate timeline that you wound up with gave you completely different children. Those children would then become the ones you can’t imagine living without. This also applies to everything in life. We give meaning to pretty arbitrary things because they create a better and more cohesive narrative then what reality would show. An accidental encounter becomes fate. A relationship that lasts turns into a supposed metaphysical connection. Once you can look at things that way and then apply the age old saying that there are plenty of fish in the sea then it becomes easier to move on and break free from the evil of nostalgia. And I say evil intentionally. Nostalgia is a time vampire. You will waste so much time thinking about what was that you end up missing out on what can and will be if you manage to break free of the cycle. Even reminiscing about the past can do you great harm. I often found myself reminiscing about the good ole days of college. But if I were to really take a good hard look at them, and they were fun don’t get me wrong, they weren’t as great as what I tell myself. Issues of nostalgia often come about when you have nothing going on in your life. After a breakup you have a time void. Same goes for graduating college. Or any other major transition in life. The sooner you move on and create new purpose, new goals, and new circumstances of your life the faster you will kick nostalgia to the curb.

  19. You should do one on Daryl Davis

  20. 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
    04:00 on till end

  21. So much of this reminds me of this video https://youtu.be/n-2TEwdRnX0

  22. Thanks for this, I really needed it. 😊

  23. Could have subtitles in Portuguese

  24. 3 years late but i'm not complaining

  25. Well.. i was refused by her family just 3 days ago..
    After almost 3 years of love.
    So ironically that something I'm not upon can decide how will i live my life..

  26. What if she was the one who broke up w u and u genuinely thought your problems weren't impossible to overcome.

  27. jesus crist stop reading my mind

  28. Daily 30min of self-parenting, as suggested by John Pollard's book of equal name. Through this process I discovered the addictive patterns in the past relationship and used it as a way to gradually reclaim my self.

  29. I keep feeling amazed by the breadth of subjects Alain de Botton covers. I feel touched by his delivery everything, which conveys a great deal of compassion for his audience. I certainly have never got an impression of high-browed patronisation.
    Thank you, Alain, for sharing your insights and understanding.

  30. You know when School of Life videos come at the right moment for you? Yeah, this is one of those moments.

  31. The timing for this video couldn't be anymore spot on. Thank you SOL for yet another life lesson everyone experiences however may not discuss. 🧡

  32. Remember most people aren't with you. You can't lose you don't have. You need to be happy with yourself first. Instead of looking for a person to complete you

  33. first time i am not happy with the video. the titel should say it is for the on ewho left. i was left and this doesnt help :S

  34. You miss who you were in those days …

  35. What's worked for me is realizing how LITTLE we actually had in common and how incompatible(sexually, etc.)we are…and the fact that we BOTH settled for someone that neither of us really wanted.

  36. Often it’s just you missing being in a relationship, not the person themselves.

  37. If you love someone and miss that person a youtube video isn't going to change that.

  38. I love the comment section ❤️ God took them away so better people can come into your life. If they were meant for you, they will never leave.

  39. Am I the only one that is nostalgic about that day on the beach drinking wine from paper cups even though that's never happened to me?

  40. OMG! such a boring video!!!! SO BORING! , click bait video title! narrator sucks! everything is so boring in this video! I didn't understand a thing!!!!!! at half the video I felt so bored, kept pushing till 6:44 can't take it anymore. my god kill me!! it's so boring!

  41. US & UK are spreading Mental Illness to India. Through Internet & Jobs. 😛

  42. Didn't see that coming… flashback to industrial revolution!

  43. to all who identify as codependent empaths, this is how we can heal from this dynamic: https://youtu.be/tgziT6HX_oA

  44. The hard thing is when they broke up with you and it wasn't your choice. Still, I guess if they made that decision, the same principle applies and things can't have been quite as "perfect" as they seemed. xxx

  45. This is basically Supercut by Lorde.

  46. It is truly uncanny how timely School Of Life post videos that intimately relate to my current situation. Thank you from the bottom of my broken heart.

  47. What if you were the "bad guy", I haven't really been able to forgive myself even though I know how unhealthy I was mentally/emotionally and cut things off out of jealousy and trauma lenses. It all worked out and in the end it wouldn't have been fair for him to hold on and I definitely needed to let go to move forward but I didn't know how to communicate and was very quick to close off to feel safe. I feel as though I've been punishing myself but at the same time 20+ years of trauma doesn't go away in 5-6 years. I've stayed single to avoid ever doing that again and to get as mentally/emotionally healthy as I possibly can to make sure when the next comes I'll be ready.

  48. your channel's choice of topics is good, your animation is good and everything else, except for my brain stops understanding your content when the video reaches at the midst.

  49. If you are thinking about your Ex, you must not have anything going on with your life. Try making lots of money, theyll come back

  50. Great analogy! Brilliant!

  51. Not only for ex for any relationship

  52. The comment section is much more helpful than this video 🙂

  53. I miss the old time when i was in relationship☹️

  54. This explanation assumes that the person feeling nostalgic was unhappy in the relationship and that it was either their own or a mutual decision to break up.

  55. Some relationships take years, decades to get over. I've been there.

  56. You have to remember that he/she was an asshole! Just like opinions and assholes everybody’s got one ☝️ so what’s the use of two assholes, when the one ☝️ you have works perfectly fine! 😜🙃😳😊

  57. The fact that this just popped into my feed is crazy. I just ended a toxic relationship today and it’s just 10x harder when you still have feelings for the person. It’s also easier to move on when they were the ones that messed up.

  58. Luckily I never struggle with getting over any ex , even with some kind of a relationship in my past was just the version of a confusion between my love life theory and the fact even I might not love them in fact…. as about this story I guessed you're still in love with that one as your ex , so why you wouldn't be honestly with her and yourself ?, what did stop you from telling her and coming back with her ???

  59. Thank you so much for your videos🙏 There are times when I have no one to talk to about what I really feel and your voice is resonating with reason in my head.

  60. Please download those episodes as a podcast

  61. Real problem is trying to find dat so called "the one" characteristics in another person.
    Those feelings of love r formed inside ur heart.
    First love urself. Den u wont search for love in another person.
    No matter who ur partner is it doesnt matter. A compassionate heart can adjust with anyone(with certain exceptions). Nothing is perfect. Look inside ur heart for perfection.

  62. Perfect timing. Damn February.

  63. Use my strategy: Don't get a gf to begin with.

  64. I known that Google is listening coz that video is was on point

  65. this is great video , it is very useful

  66. 0:15 right swipe are likes 😕

  67. This is very abstract. Things are not as simple as this. But thanks for the attempt I guess!

  68. I don’t want to. She’ll come back to me.

  69. Its been 2 and a half years, ive dated other people, we barely talk today, shes inba relationship, but yet still, no one ever pops up in my head and those good times like her, i dont rrally remember or have memories like i have with her, i miss her, but i suppose it might just be for the best… 🙁

  70. Is it normal that I still feel nostalgia for a relationship that ended a year ago? We remain friends afterwards because I still loved him but a few months ago, his new girlfriend told him to stop talking to him, so he started treating me like shit and eventually I got over him. But from time to time I think about the time we spent together and it just makes me sad how he ended it in such a nasty way.

  71. Sometimes nostalgia feels so good but sometimes it hurts so bad

  72. What a nonsense. Too bad English language don’t have the word SAUDADE. It’s way more complex than simply nostalgia.

  73. Happy for those this helps, sadly I'm not one of them

  74. He starts talking about it at 4:00

  75. can you do a video when someone leaves you for someone else and seems happier than ever and couldnt care less how much pain you are in

  76. i feel like Youtube recommended this to everyone right when they needed it the most

  77. Can you do one on being in love with a women with a child??? I need this

  78. Thank you, I needed to hear this! SoL is like that best friend who slaps you when you need to wake up.

  79. Hm, thank you, that helped! It's reassuring, economists will be reminded of the revealed preference.

  80. HERE IT IS WRITTEN:

    After considerable agony, we’ve left a relationship. We’re on our own now – and, when we can bear to be honest, it’s a little harder than we expected. We aren’t going on many dates; the central heating broke down last week; the shopping is proving a hurdle.
    In idle moments, we find ourselves daydreaming, returning fondly to certain occasions in the concluded relationship. There was that wintry weekend by the sea: they looked adorable walking on the beach in their thick scarf. We fed the seagulls and drank cheap white wine from paper cups on the seafront and felt connected and happy. Then there was a moment on honeymoon, when we discovered the little Vietnamese restaurant hidden away in a side street in Paris and became friends with the owner and her husband. Or we recall how, at a large party, we both realised we didn’t particularly like the other guests – it was a special, conspiratorial moment: the two of us, shoulder to shoulder, talking over just what was wrong with everyone else. We’re newly conscious of the charm of so many things that seemed ordinary at the time – coming out of the supermarket, putting everything away in the fridge and the cupboards; making soup and toasted cheese and watching television on the sofa.
    With these thoughts in our minds, we feel weepy and tender – and at points distinctly tempted to call the ex up again. They would, we suspect, allow us back, or at least give us a hearing.
    What can we make of our feelings? It might be that we have realised a genuine mistake. But it’s even more likely that we are in the grip of a characteristic mental habit of the newly single, facing the vertigo of independence: nostalgia.
    In the middle of the nineteenth century, Britain underwent industrial and scientific revolutions that transformed old settled ways of life, ripping apart communities, throwing people together in large and anonymous cities – and dislocating the loyalties and certainties once offered by religion. In a search for ways to soften the confusion, artists and thinkers began to imagine what a better world might look like – and in certain circles, the search turned towards the past and more specifically, to the perceived wisdom, coherence and contentment of the Middle Ages. While railway lines were being laid down across the land, and telegraph cables under the seas, members of the artistic class celebrated the simple, innocent communities that they proposed had existed in the twelfth and thirteenth centuries. Art works depicted handsome uneducated but happy labourers, cheerful villagers celebrating harvests and kindly lords and ladies ministering to the deserving poor. There seemed to be no violence, alienation, fear or cruelty. No one minded not having much heating or subsisting on a meagre diet of oats and the odd piece of lard. It had, it was alleged, been very much easier back then, in the thatched cottages and pious stone churches.

    At the heart of the nostalgic attitude is a disregard for why things ever changed – and might have needed to do so. For the nostalgic, the past never required alteration or development; history moved on for no sane reason. The complexities of the present moment are in this sense deemed wholly accidental. They are not the tricky byproducts of a legitimate search for growth and progress away from what must have been at some level, despite the odd delightful occasion (perhaps at harvest time or on a midsummer morning), an intolerable previous arrangement. The nostalgic can’t accept that the present, whatever its faults, came about because of inescapable difficulties with the past. They insist that we had already once been perfectly happy, then mysteriously changed everything for the worse because we forgot we had been so.
    Relationships can find us reasoning no less selectively. Here too it can feel as if we must once have been content and then grew ungrateful through error and inattention. Yet in locating profound satisfaction in the past, we are crediting our earlier selves with too little acumen. The truth about what a relationship is like is best ascertained not when we are feeling low six months or a few years after its conclusion, but from what we must have known when we were in its midst; when we were most familiar with all the facts upon which we made our slow and deliberate decisions.
    The specific grounds for our dissatisfactions tend to evaporate. We edit out the rows, the botched trips, the sexual frustrations, the stubborn standoffs… The mind is a squeamish organ. It doesn’t like to entertain bad news unless there is a highly present danger to be attended to. But knowing our amnesiac tendencies, we can be certain that profound unpleasantness must have existed, for there would otherwise have been no explanation for our decision to rip our situation apart. We would never have needed to act if things had ever remotely been as gratifying as we are now nostalgically assuming they were. The portrait we are painting of the relationship is emerging not from knowledge, but from loneliness and apprehension.
    Furthermore, our sense of ourselves as people who could be satisfied with what was on offer is as untrue to our own nature as is the fantasy of a modern urban dweller who dreams they might find enduring happiness in a medieval wooden hut. The solution to the problem of satisfying our needs is not to hallucinate that they don’t exist. It is to square up to them and use every ingenuity we’re capable of to devise workable solutions for them.
    We should trust not what we feel now, in our weepy disconsolate state, but what we must have known then. A simple rule of thumb emerges: we must invariably trust the decisions we took when we had the maximal information to hand upon which we made them – not when we have emotional incentives to change our minds and mould ourselves into a caricature of an easily-gratified creature. There were persuasive reasons, even if – in our sadness – we now can’t remember a single one. Returning to the past wouldn’t make us content, it would merely – at great cost to all involved – remind us of why change was in the end so necessary.
    We need to accept that good things did exist, but that they were no proper solution to certain of our well-founded emergent needs. It means accepting that we are as complicated and as difficult to satisfy as we are – and that the way forward is to accept our characters rather than posit a simplicity we could never live up to. We should have the courage of, and be ready to pay the full price for, our true complex natures.

  81. Except when you were quite comfortable in a relationship and just got dumped.

  82. How about podcasting these videos

  83. Playing scary video games together, eating junk food while hanging around Cambridge in the cold winter, smoking at the window under a blanket…
    Yeah, I would be glad if these flashbacks could be erased from my mind to be honest.
    The irony is that I managed to forget her and move on at some point but a few weeks ago I saw a notification in LinkedIn (forgot the unconnect her here) saying that she'd found a job in the town I live in, it's an unfortunate coincidence because she doesn't know I live here as I moved after we broke up and went no contact. Anyway, that event triggered everything all over again, three years after, I really didn't need that.
    The strange thing is I had other relationships after her but only feel nostalgia for that specific one, I have no idea why.
    Now I am mgtow and happy, I just need to remove her from my mind, forever.

  84. You glorify what you've lost. Even if it sucked throughout, you'll still think it was better than before because the grass is greener on the other side. It wasn't. They were horrible for you, and you were horrible for them. They are looking for something else while you do the same. Move on, it gets better, not in the way you think it does, but it does get better eventually, you just have to see and believe it.

  85. Why would I be nostalgic for a nasty looking black man?

  86. I can ever thank you guys enough for this videos🤗 they're so nurturing and well intentioned. Thank you for your hard work⚘

  87. School of Life has impeccable timing as always.

    This one is not so simple for me. I had my reservations from day one, having been no stranger to the usual tricks of getting too attached and taken advantage of as a result.

    There was a moment where my paranoia and anxiety brought things to as boil, coincidentally right at the time that SoL released Dating When You’ve Had a Bad Childhood which perfectly sums up what happened and why, I even did the exact thing they described about projecting insecurities.

    I tried to burn the bridge and sour myself to the memory of her for the specific purpose of moving on and not feeling nostalgic… only to realize that she was every bit as good as I hoped she was, and that it was my own emotional shortcomings that were the root of the problem. In my attempts to create a villain out of her that I could feel good about pushing out of my life, I became the villain.

    I didn’t think the emotional duress of constantly struggling to trust her could have been worse than cutting ties and moving on; little did I realize that after the smoke has cleared, I still desire her just as much, but now I don’t even get so much as a text, and I have the guilt of knowing I betrayed a friend who deeply trusted me, AND I have the grief of knowing I have only myself to blame. So yeah… this one isn’t so easy to get over.

  88. The past is certain, the future uncertain. Nostalgia is anxiety's child.

  89. I don't miss them, i know they are not for me anymore, but it is what we had that i miss.

  90. This is helping me feel better about my 5 year relationship break-up. 💕

  91. what if you werent the one who made the choice though

  92. I call it withdrawals not nostalgia.

  93. To my stalker, please stop looking into my window. Every night, I have difficulty falling into sleep, feeling relaxed in my sleep because my room feels like a cave and harm could come in anytime from the window. that's why the blinds are down all the time. I can't live like this anymore! it's torture to feel anxious in your room and feel afraid of the window. the bedroom is supposed to be a sanctuary to retreat, relax and recover. So please stop peaking into my room and stop following me, stop having others follow me. You can't keep doing that because it is illegal and immoral. I have already told you many many times your "advice/coaching/feedback/performances" are not welcomed. I am NOT a charity asking for your donation or help and I am NOT a business that's looking for a mentorship or coaching. So I do NOT need you to follow me around and give feedback. I am NOT your employee and I do NOT work at your company. and you are NOT my government. So, get it clear in your head. I do NOT want you to follow me around, giving me feedback, monitoring..it's all very anxiety and paranoia causing. I don't show the nervousness I experience all the time but you can tell from staying up freaking out and typing about this. and from talking fast out of nervouness in normal encounter because the background anxiety is high. and it's even higher because of this weird ordeal over the past 6 months. If you do it to your employees, they are willing because they are getting paid for it. I am NOT your employee, NOT your relative, NOT your mentee. All this is just causing anxiety and disturbances in my life. I hope you have get this mental model. Do NOT interact with me. Stay OUT of my regular activities circle… Those are the actual genuine people in my life.

  94. Leave me out of your philanthropic efforts. I don't work at your company. I am not paid to have you following me around in order to give you feedback to redirect your philanthropic efforts. I am supposed to be working right now and doing my best to improve my mental health so I will be in a good shape for work. I am not here to help you do unpaid charity work. You've made all the money in the world..I haven't. So stop using me, infringing my legal rights, forcing me to work for you without payment. I do NOT need your coaching because 1) I do NOT work for you 2) I do NOT work at a charity that's looking for your donation 3) I do NOT need your advice on entrepreneurship – each company founder has their own way of doing things in different jurisdictions. If I need any of your advice, I'll just take out Principles book from the library. I threw my copy away last year already. I know it's tough feedback to billionaires but I just want to make sure you have this mental model down and my life back. I've already slaved away for the past 10 years to do unpaid and lowly paid philanthropic work and permanently damaged my mental health. I do not need you to exacerbate it further. I do not need you to force me to do unpaid philanthropic work so you can be even more successful in your philanthropy. How selfish of you. STILL think about your own success ahead of other people's success. In this case, my own. Very very very selfish of you to use me to do unpaid, forced labour for you to be successful in philanthropy. The truth is so brutal. You need to know the truth about what you are really doing. It's very hard for you to put other people's well-being ahead of your own because it's not in your nature to do so. no one become billionaires by putting others' well-being ahead of their own. Otherwise, you'd be working in a medical profession, not investment and you wouldn't have been so successful. Even in philanthropy, you are still putting your own success ahead of my own well-being by invading my privacy to the max, totally disregard my legal rights and causing further mental health damage despite I have repeatedly told you so. Please get this new mental model down. Please direct your philanthropic efforts to millions of others that would love you to help them.

  95. How the hell does School of Life always know what I'm dealing with?

  96. We had a spiritual connection, but it just didn't work

  97. Interessante, Mas poderia ter uma legenda em português.

  98. Love yourself first. If anyone acts like an arsehole with a lack of respect for you … let them go. Better to be on your own than with an emotional timewaster.

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