Donald Trump’s border wall. It’s been keeping Congress busy
for months. But just this week,
they finally made a deal to give Trump $1.4 billion for 55 miles of new barriers. Yes. And they also threw in $50 to get Trump a pair of,
uh, throat panties. Yeah, it’s like, “Fantastic. Now I can finally cover up
my neck vagina.” Now, remember, $1.4 billion is a lot less
than Trump originally wanted. So the question is, is this
enough money for the wall? Well, who better
to ask this question to than the official mascot
for Donald Trump’s border wall, Bricky the Border Wall,
everybody! (cheering and applause) -Welcome back, Bricky!
-Oh! Thanks, Trevor! Build the me! Build the me! Well, we-we don’t do
that chant here, Bricky. Um, thanks for joining us again. Bricky, how are you feeling
about this new funding deal? Well, I’m getting
a billion dollars, Trevor. I’m so excited, I’m hard as concrete right now!
Ooh! Well, it’s-it’s actually funny
you mention concrete, Bricky, because, uh,
the bill actually says that the wall might be made out
of steel slats. So it might not even be
a wall-wall. Oh, well,
I’m not prejudiced, Trevor. I don’t care
if you’re steel, concrete, or asbestos. I don’t see building materials. The important thing
is we all come together and keep out
those goddamn dirty Mexicans. -Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, Bricky. -Oh, oh. Sorry.
I shouldn’t have said “goddamn.” N-No, I’ve told you– your xenophobia
is not welcome at the show. Well, you know
where it is welcome? At a Donald Trump rally, which is why I went down
to his Build the Wall rally in El Paso this week. Check it out. Woo-witty-woo! Hi, friends! I’m Bricky,
the big, beautiful wall, or Mr. Bricks,
if you’re nasty. I’m here in El Paso
with thousands of patriots. (whoops) Hey, you can’t just walk
around me. You’re making me feel
like I’m a big waste of money. Oh, goddamn it! And we’re all here
to see our president. -El Paso, thank you very much.
-(cheering) No, thank you, Mr. President. You see, President Trump
and his supporters understand exactly why we need to build me! That’s what we need,
to keep all the… illegals out. You don’t know
who the people are. They could be a terrorist
or something, you know? -Mixed– You know what I mean.
-Yeah. Some of ’em may even have hooks
as hands! Yeah. Yeah, very true. I heard, when there was no wall,
immigrants would just swim across the Ariana Grande -and be right here in El Paso?
-Oh, yeah. I met a man two week ago
that work– is working construction
on the wall in New Mexico. He watched 180 people, all dressed in black, with black on their face
and weapons, start coming across the border. Oh, great! Now Mexico has ninjas? What percentage of that caravan
do you think works for ISIS? (spookily):
Ooh… I also heard
about the illegal passports that Venezuela was selling, selling a bunch to ISIS, letting-letting them believe
that those people were-were, uh, Hispanic
when they’re not. I can’t wait for these ISIS guys
to join a caravan and walk over 1,000 miles but then they’d give up
when they see me, the wall! -Yes! Yes!
-Right? You betcha! But don’t worry. Trump’s people have
some bold ideas of how we can build
the perfect me! The beauty of the wall
we’re gonna build -is it’s gonna be harder
to get over. -Yeah. Especially when it has
some beautiful barbed wire on top, like that.
Electrified would be great. They also have glass,
broken glass. There’s all kinds of solutions! Well, I’ve actually been
to Israel, and I’ve seen
the concrete barriers between, um, Israel
and the West Bank. I never saw a single person
scale that wall, so… It’s not like they have
any problems, am I right? Oh, woo-woo-woo! What about all them Dumb-ocrats that say illegal immigrants
are gonna climb under the wall? Wa-wa-wa-wa-wa. These people
are full of great ideas. Just one problem: those liberals in Congress are only giving our president
one billion dollars. They’re stiffing Trump like he’s one
of his own contractors. But you know who’s
really gonna pay for the rest? Mexico! How is Trump gonna get Mexico
to pay for me? You got
all the drug cartel money. You take it away at the border,
all them drugs and all that money
that gets confiscated. Yeah!
Sell some drugs to fund me. (a la Scarface):
Say hello to my little plan. How is Mexico gonna pay, Gary? Tax on the border
for, uh, goods coming in. -Okay.
-Tariffs. But what
about the dumb Democrat idea that putting a tariff
on an import actually hurts the country
that receives it, right here? That’s absolutely fake news. It must be nice to just say
things are fake news, right? Yeah. Absolutely, it is. Don’t worry!
Mexico will pay for these! Goo-goo-goo-goo! And after they asked me
to leave the rally… But you’re separating me
from my family! …I just had one last stop on my journey
to the borderland. I love your work! Only 1,200 miles of me to go! A-boobity-boo! Thanks so much,
Bricky the Border Wall.